Shock news: Page Three stunna more clued up about climate change than Sammy Wilson

lucy_pinder30

It seems somebody at the Telegraph knows I can’t resist a cheap punchline. From today’s paper:

Environment Minister Sammy Wilson may have banned climate change ads but that hasn’t stopped Lucy Pinder from launching her own saucy campaign to save energy.

The 25-year-old glamour model sent temperatures soaring as she launched a drive help couples to save electricity on Valentine’s Day.

Lucy kicked off the Energy Saving Week campaign alongside the “energy love doctor” with a racy message to lovers: “Turn me on, turn it off.”

Lucy posed for several revealing photos and said that couples can turn the heat up around the house without using additional power.

The Celebrity Big Brother star’s top tips for lovers include;

  • turning the bedroom lights out in favour of candlelight,
  • sharing showers or baths and
  • cuddling up in bed while turning the heating down.

Rob Bell, “energy love doctor” at the Energy Saving Trust, said: “It appears the economic gloom has ruined romance for many this Valentine’s Day.

“But for those determined to spread a little love, home will truly be where the heart is on February 14 as people feeling the pinch due to the recession try to save cash.”

It seems that, apart from having appeared nude in the tabloids, our Lucy has little in common with Sammy Wilson. In fact, could we persuade her to come over here and be our environment minister? I don’t care if she is a Tory, she’d have to be more convincing than the incumbent.

16 Comments

  1. Garibaldy said,

    February 10, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    Does that mean Sammy would have to become a glamour model (again)? Can’t think the average brickie would like that when he opens his Daily Star or such like.

  2. Mike said,

    February 10, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    By any chance are you a fan of Nona Hartley?

  3. Mike said,

    February 10, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    That should have been Nina Hartley!

  4. Ciarán said,

    February 11, 2009 at 1:47 am

    Does that mean Sammy would have to become a glamour model (again)? Can’t think the average brickie would like that when he opens his Daily Star or such like.

    If they’re reading the Daily Star then they’ve got it coming.

  5. February 11, 2009 at 1:47 am

    So glad there is a convenient dip in the good lady’s trolley to prevent compaction of her fine front muscles. O-o-oh! I fear compaction in the trouser area coming on.

    … turning the bedroom lights out in favour of candlelight, …

    I believe this may have “consequences” but firemen are always welcome in their fine leathery carapace and helmets … don’t forget the helmets! Squirt me with your hose any time, big boy.

  6. February 11, 2009 at 10:08 am

    … turning the bedroom lights out in favour of candlelight, …

    The chaps at the Telegraph have really done it this time. What place does the split infinitive have in the civilised world? Pull your socks up, man, and set a proper example. This would never have happened before the Barclay weirdos sent their proofing to the Antipodes at fifty pence per page. Looks like a wallaby got to work on it.

    Brig. Miaow the morning after and sober as a judge.

  7. Madam Miaow said,

    February 11, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Brig. Miaow the morning after and sober as a judge.

    Yeah, sober as a judge what presided over the de Menezes inquest.

    Get it together, Bufton Tufton, and cut out the tumblers of Johnnie Walker. “Turning the bedroom lights out” isn’t a split infinitive. “Turning” is the verb and “out” merely modifies it. I’d ask for your private education fees back if I were you. Which I’m not. Ever.

  8. February 11, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    The Celebrity Big Brother star’s top tips for lovers include;

    * turning the bedroom lights out in favour of candlelight,

    that’s good, a form of protest against the health and safety nanny state … even the RCP/LM would support this 😉

  9. Stuart Hurlbut said,

    February 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    It’s clear that Brigadier Miaow needs some grammar lessons. My teenage students in Indonesia wouldn’t make mistakes like that Turning out is in fact a phrasal verb, the English language is littered with them.

  10. splinteredsunrise said,

    February 11, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    Ooo, that’s you told.

  11. skidmarx said,

    February 11, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    I have heard it suggested that there is nothing wrong with choosing the boldly split an infinitive anyway. Could one of our expert grammarians help with that?

  12. splinteredsunrise said,

    February 11, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Captain Kirk didn’t mind splitting infinitives. But then, he was Canadian.

  13. February 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    I know whose infinitive I’d like to boldly split. That nice Pinder gal on her trolley, that’s who.

    Yours,

    Brig. Miaow with a nice tumbler of Johnnie Walker and furry palms

  14. February 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    I hate to rise to the bait, but….

    There is in fact nothing wrong with splitting infinitives. It’s a stupid rule invented by some Victorian Torygraph reading twat which has been repeated by ignorant pedants ever since. Even Shakespeare used a split infinitive. So, I’ll continue to boldly split until the heat death of the universe.

  15. February 11, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    And I, sir, Victorian Torygraph reading twat that I am and proud of it, say that you’ll be doing no such thing at the heat death of the universe. And I have the scientific equipment to prove it

    And that’s even if this all turns out to be a dream of some butterfly sitting astride a giant turtle as some of those Indonesian chappies who recognise a phrasal verb when it bites them on their bums might happily apprise you of. And I am fully aware that I ended the previous sentence a preposition with. Damn!

  16. February 12, 2009 at 1:30 am

    Brigadier, I assure you not only is it possible but I have the pictures to prove it!

    I’m sure Brigadier, that as a gin swilling Tory Twat you’ll appreciate this next story about Winston Churchill. It seems an overzealous editor attempted to rearrange one of Winston Churchill’s sentences to avoid ending it in a preposition, so he scribbled this single sentence in reply: “This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.”

    Grammar, who gives a damn?


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