The Chuckle Brothers go to Yankeeland


And so Big Ian and Marty are off on their grand tour of the States to sing the praises of the New Dispensation and to promote Norn Iron as a site for inward investment. Well, they do say travel broadens the mind. Certainly, since the Smithsonian’s Norn Iron exhibition earlier this year, when over half of the entire Executive decamped to Washington, you can almost taste the sweetness and light.

Our joint presidency have so far been doing New York. They’ve been chumming about with Bloomberg, who has hinted he may reciprocate with a visit to the City That Never Wakes Up. They got to go to the opening of the NYSE and make speeches – they didn’t actually get to ring the famous bell, but they did get to ring the Nasdaq bell. Which, to my mind, is a bit like being the celebrity guest on the Lotto draw and only getting to press the button for the Thunderball.

But never mind. Here’s something to silence all those cynics who keep asking where the investment is that’s promised with each of these Stateside trips. For Big Ian has a cunning plan to relieve the toiling masses of North Antrim. You know that big fuck-off golf resort Donald Trump was going to build in Scotland? The one that’s just got the bum’s rush from Aberdeenshire council for being a giant eyesore stuck in the middle of an area of outstanding natural beauty? Well, Big Ian has been lobbying the Donald to relocate his folie de grandeur from Aberdeenshire to Antrim.

Here’s a thought. Why not get Seymour Sweeney to build it?


  1. Matt said,

    December 5, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    On this side of the water the visit raised rarely a peep. No news outlets talking about the “seismic shift” in Irish politics that seems to happen there every month or so. It’s just business as usual; a couple of reps from a relatively impoverished client coming with to DC with open palms, cap in hand and oaths of fealty for the boss of bosses. It happens ten times a day here. I suspect the laugh caravan didn’t get down to Bob Jones University this trip. Poor Martin would have had to wait outside while Ian got a slap on the back for finally bringing the Papists to heel. If the Irish thought that the British troops were an annoyance wait until your faced with The Donald’s comb over and media circus.

  2. a friend to NI said,

    December 6, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    This Trump venture represents a golden opportunity for Northern Ireland and is truly the best opportunity to have ever come its way.

    The Donald must be wined and dined and afforded every hospitality the Northern Irish have to offer for this mutually-beneficial business to pay off.

    Make it work.

  3. Donagh said,

    December 7, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Hugh Green noticed that Roland Barthes was predicting this would happen all along. He was such a smart fellow that Barthes lad, except of course when it came to crossing the road.

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