And so Big Ian and Marty are off on their grand tour of the States to sing the praises of the New Dispensation and to promote Norn Iron as a site for inward investment. Well, they do say travel broadens the mind. Certainly, since the Smithsonian’s Norn Iron exhibition earlier this year, when over half of the entire Executive decamped to Washington, you can almost taste the sweetness and light.
Our joint presidency have so far been doing New York. They’ve been chumming about with Bloomberg, who has hinted he may reciprocate with a visit to the City That Never Wakes Up. They got to go to the opening of the NYSE and make speeches – they didn’t actually get to ring the famous bell, but they did get to ring the Nasdaq bell. Which, to my mind, is a bit like being the celebrity guest on the Lotto draw and only getting to press the button for the Thunderball.
But never mind. Here’s something to silence all those cynics who keep asking where the investment is that’s promised with each of these Stateside trips. For Big Ian has a cunning plan to relieve the toiling masses of North Antrim. You know that big fuck-off golf resort Donald Trump was going to build in Scotland? The one that’s just got the bum’s rush from Aberdeenshire council for being a giant eyesore stuck in the middle of an area of outstanding natural beauty? Well, Big Ian has been lobbying the Donald to relocate his folie de grandeur from Aberdeenshire to Antrim.
Here’s a thought. Why not get Seymour Sweeney to build it?