A biographer of Karl Marx writes

francis_wheen_203_203x152.jpg

This week in Private Eye, catch the sharpest satirical writing in town, with pithy insights such as:

I hate the Serbs.
I hate Douglas Hurd.
I hate Dame Pauline Neville-Jones.
I hate John Major.
I really, really, really hate the Serbs.
I hate Noam Chomsky, assuming what Oliver says about him is true.
I hate George Galloway.
I hate the SWP, except for my late friend Paul Foot.
I hate the Muslims, except for Shahid Malik, Ed Husain, that woman Nick keeps talking about and those johnnies in the Balkans who are terribly good at killing Serbs.
I hate Labour MPs who didn’t go to public school and don’t know the correct way to eat asparagus.
I hate French philosophers who write books I don’t understand.
I hate the Guardian, unless Rusbridger wants to rehire me.
Did I mention I hate the Serbs?

Don’t miss your super soaraway Private Eye – funnier than Democratiya!

8 Comments

  1. ejh said,

    July 19, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    There’s a letter in the latest issue which concludes:

    Whilst I much enjoy reading the views expressed by Private Eye every fortnight, I do expect its coverage to be accurate and balanced.

    Which invites the observation that if you read it that often, you surely wouldn’t expect anything of the kind.

  2. Idris of Dungiven said,

    July 20, 2007 at 9:30 am

    Hang on, has Private Eye printed a parody of Wheen on the lines The Splintered One suggest? Or have they taken to printing neat Wheen, straight, no parodic chaser?

  3. splinteredsunrise said,

    July 20, 2007 at 11:22 am

    If you look at pages 8 and 9 of the current Eye, the latter seems more likely. I note too that, while Cohen and Mad Mel have descended into the realms of fantasy at a rate of knots, the Eye hasn’t been parodying them. If Hislop is reading this, perhaps he could take the point under advisement.

  4. ejh said,

    July 20, 2007 at 11:38 am

    I tend to think Hislop shares Wheen’s view on these matters – take for instance the issue that followed the Danish cartoons controversy, or indeed the current issue’s bracketed comment about George Galloway.

    Don’t matter, I’ve been a subscriber for about twenty years and no doubt I will be for the next twenty.

    Incidentally, have any other readers noticed the remarkable similarity between the picture of the devil in a cartoon in the current issue, and Mr David Baddiel? I wonder if by any chance…

  5. splinteredsunrise said,

    July 20, 2007 at 11:58 am

    Hislop on the other hand is quite good at laughing at himself. Wheen is a very funny man when on form, but I think too much time hanging out with the likes of Cohen and Kamm has probably convinced him he’s fighting a Great Intellectual Struggle here. In his old Grauniad column he only really descended to hectoring where the Serbs were concerned, but these days he’s accumulated so many targets he’s in danger of turning into a liberal Littlejohn.

  6. ejh said,

    July 20, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    Talking of cartoons (and I haven’t got a copy, sorry…)

  7. Starkadder said,

    August 6, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Wheen hates Milosevic and Karadic.Very
    big difference from hating the entire
    Serbian people.

  8. splinteredsunrise said,

    August 6, 2007 at 7:46 pm

    Having had the misfortune of reading his weekly output during the Balkan wars, you could have fooled me. He certainly isn’t punctilious about drawing that distinction.


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