Higgy’s new gnashers

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What’s all this crack about snooker’s Benevolent Fund shelling out £20,000 for new teeth for Alex Higgins? These must be some great teeth. And who could begrudge a man on his last legs, and a working-class hero forbye?

But why should Higgy have to go cap in hand to charity? Where was our new Stormont regime with a populist gesture? Couldn’t McGimpsey have stepped in? Or what about Pootsie’s culture, arts and leisure budget – surely there should be enough cash left over from an unbuilt stadium for Higgy’s teeth, and any number of George Best statues into the bargain.

 Second impression 7.07.07: On reflection, I am ever more convinced that this is a matter for Stormont. Our leaders are always on the lookout for a cheap gesture to cement the bonds between the “two communities”, and surely Higgy’s teeth can bring us together. With Poligrip if nothing else. And where’s the people’s champion Eamonn McCann? He usually leaps at stories like this. I fully expect Captain Eamo to step up to the plate and ensure that our hero Higgy does not have to spend his declining years toothless.

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