Lloyd George knew my father

I read in this morning’s papers that Mr Tony Blair has arranged an honorary knighthood for his great friend, musician and egomaniac Bono. This is supposed to be in recognition of Bono’s courageous struggles against global poverty and injustice.

Ahem. That would be the same Bono who hectors the Irish populace on how their country should be run, while refusing to pay taxes in Ireland? The Bono who paid a small fortune in legal fees to retrieve a pair of trousers, and who famously booked an adjoining seat on a plane journey so his hat could travel in comfort?

I realise I’m on thin ice here – U2 fans are notoriously humourless, especially on the subject of their main man’s pretensions to stand for something. But Bono seems like an intelligent bloke – does he not realise the gap between his words and actions just makes him look a teeny bit absurd? Or, like many celebrities, is he surrounded by people who can’t say no to him?

But it is at least fitting that this honour has been bestowed by another very very silly man, Mr Tony. The prime minister is just back from his tour promoting democracy in the Middle East, where he supported the Fatah putsch in Palestine, glad-handed tribal Gulf sheikhs and Egypt’s grisly president-for-life, and offered his backing to the coalition of Maronite Phalangists and Islamic obscurantists who have run Lebanon since the phoney “Cedar Revolution”. In the midst of all this, he called on “moderates” in the region (presumably those people he had been issuing endorsements to) to ally against the, er, elected government of Iran.

Yup, these two jokers certainly deserve each other’s company.

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